I Have Breast Cancer, What Now?

My habits were not always so good when it came tostage that a person could have. It is called DCIS,
taking care of myself. The two things that I waswhich stands for Ductal Carcinoma in Situ. All of this
good at was making my annual appointment for asounded so foreign to me. I got a pen and piece of
pap smear and a mammogram. Today, I am sopaper out of my purse to start trying to write down
grateful for that habit!what she was saying. She told me that DCIS means
In November 2001, I went for my annualthat the cancer is in the exact place it started, and
mammogram. While waiting for the technician tohad not started to spread even outside the breast.
come back in the room after the doctor had lookedThank you God.
at my films, I was confident, as always, thatShe asked me did I have a surgeon that I would like
everything was fine. When the door opened and sheto use. I did not as I had never even had any kind of
ask me to follow her down the hall, the doctorsurgery. She suggested a couple of names, I was
wanted to see me, my heart felt like it stopped.just bearly hearing her. I ask her to decide for me,
What was this all about?and she did, set my appointment up for the next
The doctor was a very sweet and soft spoken lady.week.
I felt very at ease while I listened to her. My filmsI am headed back to work, saying I have breast
were on the screen in from of me, and she pointedcancer, now what? I just did not believe it. When I
to several spots that she thought needed to bewalked in the office, my co-worker ask how it went
checked. She told me that she really thought it wasand I just started crying. Now it was real, I had to
just calcifications and nothing to be worried about,say it out loud. "I have breast cancer, but the good
but we wanted to be sure. Of course we did.....thing is it is in the very beginning stages." I do not
I made an appointment to come back for a fineknow if I was trying to be positive or comfort her.
needle biopsy. This was all foreign to me. I was toldWe both cried. I did not tell my husband until I got
to bring someone with me to drive me after thehome from work. He was wishing as bad as I was
procedure. I was glad I only had to wait a couple ofearlier that he had went with me.
days because the obsession started in my head,I went to see the surgeon, and I really liked him. He
what if?told me he thought a lumpectomy would be the best
My husband took me to my appointment and I wassurgery for me, but the decision was mine. I followed
in a really good place spiritually that day. I had turnedhis advice. The surgery was an out-patient, very
the outcome over to my higher power, and I kneweasy surgery for me. When I went back to see the
this was going to be ok.surgeon, he told me that he suggest radiation, and
It was uncomfortable for a few minutes, but thescheduled me to see a radiation oncologist. Here I am
Serenity Prayer is one of my favorites, so I justin foreign land again. I went the very next day and
recited this over and over in my head for the fewfelt pretty good when I left her office. She assured
minutes I was on the table. There were two ladies inme that after 6 weeks of radiation, my chances of
the room, and I caught something that one of themthe cancer coming back would be very slim. I was
said as she was doing the biopsy. She said, "oh good,ready to get started and get this all behind me.
this looks blue, I think this one will be ok." Whew...IThe radiation really was not that bad, a little scary
did not have a clue what that meant, but I wasuntil I got use to it. I went five days a week for six
feeling positive.weeks. I scheduled it in the late afternoon so I could
I went back for my results about a week after theleave work and drive there. After a couple of weeks,
biopsy. I left from work, and went by myself. MyI started to tire easily. We had a couch in the office,
husband ask me if I wanted him to go, and I said no,and after lunch I would lay down and rest for an
I will be fine.hour or so. My breast did become very raw close to
As I waited for my turn to see the doctor, I wasthe end of the treatment but nothing I could not
getting nervous and questioning myself about comingstand.
to get the results alone. Serenity Prayer again! MyI also had a regular oncologist. He put me on
name echoed when the nurse called me back, whyTamoxifen. I took it for two and one half years and
didn't I let him come with me is all I could think.told him that I wanted to stop because of some of
Serenity Prayer.the side effects I was having. He agreed and I was
As I sit in the office, my films in front of me again,very glad. I saw him every three months for a year,
the news the doctor had for me was truly a shock.then it went to six months and now, I only have to
Jean, I am sorry to say that the biopsy was positivesee him once a year.
for cancer. The good thing is, it is the very earliest