| No longer is cancer a four-letter word spelling "doom." | | | | consequences. Others thought I shouldn't endure any |
| Nor is it a five-letter word for "gloom." Much progress | | | | cancer treatment except surgery to remove the |
| has been made on treatments even in the last ten | | | | tumor. Shouldn't I be relying on God rather than toxic |
| years. I should know: I have been a breast survivor | | | | chemicals to heal? If only I had that kind of faith, I |
| since 1996. | | | | would prosper. My blood boiled at these caustic |
| If you are what I call a breast survivor, someone | | | | comments. "Whose cancer is it, anyway?" I wanted |
| living with breast cancer regardless of how much | | | | to retort. |
| breast tissue was taken, you may know that causes | | | | I was also livid at the doctors for not telling me how |
| of the disease are multiple. Still, it is not uncommon | | | | to reduce my risk of lymphedema, a complication |
| for the breast survivor to point her finger at | | | | from surgery and radiation that I developed, causing |
| someone or something for her predicament. Many | | | | my arm to swell. If only they had referred me to the |
| women will blame God, or a person, even herself. | | | | National Lymphedema Network for advice. |
| Passing through her mind are many possible causes, | | | | But no matter the cause of my anger, I was |
| including pollution (think smog, pesticides, and Love | | | | determined to chuck my judgmentalism. Bearing |
| Canal), faulty genes, the impersonal government, | | | | resentment toward people who are clueless to the |
| one's spouse, a demanding boss, and undue stress. | | | | struggles of breast survivors will not solve any |
| This reaction is perfectly understandable, and is part | | | | problems. Resentment will make our hearts harden |
| of our human nature. Many if not all these | | | | like Plaster of Paris. Rather, we need to forgive those |
| explanations for my cancer went through my mind | | | | who've offended us and ask the Holy Spirit for apt |
| after diagnosis. Why not? They are in the popular | | | | words to counter unwise counsel from friends and |
| and medical literature, and there are elements of | | | | ignorant physicians. |
| truth to almost all. The real name of the game, | | | | Seeking Forgiveness |
| however, is forgiveness, pure and simple. | | | | From time to time I examine my own heart to |
| Forgiving Oneself | | | | determine if I need to apologize to and seek |
| Most of my life I have engaged in binge eating. Until I | | | | forgiveness from others for the thoughtless words I |
| could release the guilt I harbored for this obsessive | | | | have spoken to them. I have written letters to |
| behavior, I couldn't fully recover from my cancer | | | | several people whom I have offended, asking for |
| diagnosis. During chemotherapy treatment I sought a | | | | forgiveness. In only one case did I get a letter back. |
| counselor to help me flush out a deluge of conflicting | | | | The important point is not that the person has now |
| emotions. Like a balm of Gilead, this therapy was | | | | forgiven me, but that I have put my own mind at |
| instrumental in completing my healing. In reflecting | | | | rest, knowing that I have sought forgiveness. When |
| upon my self-abuse, the counselor posed a series of | | | | we seek forgiveness, a door will be opened to ease |
| questions: "Whom have you had to forgive in your | | | | our minds, heal our wounded hearts. |
| life? Can God forgive you for things you have done? | | | | We often bandy about the saying "forgive and |
| Is He beyond forgiveness?" These challenges to my | | | | forget." With the help of long-term memory loss that |
| psyche forced me to review all the behaviors for | | | | I attribute to chemotherapy, it is not hard for me to |
| which God had forgiven me, not just compulsive | | | | forget most offenses. In fact, sometimes I don't |
| indulgences like overeating. | | | | even recognize the person's name from the past. If I |
| Forgiving Others | | | | don't remember the name, how can I recall any |
| As a breast survivor I listened to many thoughtless | | | | wrong committed by that person? I reckon this is |
| remarks over the course of my treatments. My | | | | another one of those unique "blessings" bestowed |
| temperature boiled over at unwanted advice by | | | | upon breast survivors. |
| "well-meaning" medically uninformed friends. A few of | | | | I am left with nothing but praise to God for revealing |
| those supposed friends practically ordered me to | | | | to me the true meaning of that other-worldly |
| take their advice to "cure" my cancer and erase all | | | | challenge we call forgiveness, which is certainly not a |
| traces of it from my life-or else face the fatal | | | | four-letter word in this breast survivor's book. |