A Tribute - A Mother Reflects on the One Year Anniversary of Losing Her Daughter to Breast Cancer

Gloria Glickman from Clifton, New Jersey remembersget rid of it. Gloria got off the phone and felt
the day in 2000 when her 28-year-old daughter,paralyzed. She remembers sobbing. Again.
Jennifer called her on the telephone to tell her sheBACK TO LIVING
felt a lump in her left breast.That same year, Jennifer was planning to climb Mt.
YOU'LL BE FINEWhitney in California to put up a banner flag for
Gloria's first reaction was to tell her not to worrycancer and she did it in between radiation treatments.
about it, that she was sure it was fine, but to still beHer new job was going well. She never missed a day
sure to get it checked by a doctor. Her daughterof work. She got promoted and was thriving
took her mother's advice. But like most peopleprofessionally. Greg was as courageous as Jennifer.
waiting for results of a biopsy, she worried.His sense of humor helped. Jennifer felt supported,
When she called her mom about her anxiety, Gloriahappy, in love and that she could conquer the world.
recalls reminding her daughter that she herself hadJennifer started writing a blog in December of 2007
once had a cyst and it turned out to be nothing, socalled, where she gave a day by day description of
she reassured her daughter that everything would beher experience. So many people wrote on it when
okay.she passed away in 2009. Jennifer came up with the
MOM, IT'S MALIGNANTname for the blog because that was her motto:
One week later, Gloria was at home with her"Time to lace up my gloves and keep fighting" when
husband, Don and heard the words from hershe got diagnosed.
daughter that a mother never imagines she'll hear inAgain, Jennifer surprised her mother by announcing
her lifetime. Her athletic, healthy, beautiful, full ofthat in April 2008 she and Greg planned to go to
energy daughter, Jennifer calling to say, "Mom it'sSante Fe and marry in a Chapel there. Just the two
malignant. I have breast cancer."of them. Gloria supported her decision, even though
DISBELIEFshe would have loved to have been there.
Jennifer was athletic and ate well and was in veryJennifer had MRI's every three months. In November
good shape. This was more of a genetic2008, she would learn that the breast cancer had
predisposition to breast cancer than anything else.gone to her brain. She had to have radiation. Jennifer
The only reason she even went in to have atold her mother they would zap it. Gloria couldn't
mammogram was because of the lump she felt inbelieve the news once again. Jennifer had the
her left breast. She otherwise wouldn't have given itradiation and went for another MRI in the beginning
a second thought. Even with a family history, sheof 2009 and she was told they got most of the
never thought it would affect her. Jennifer'scancer by zapping it with the radiation.
grandmother on her father's side had breast cancer,Gloria remembers going from New Jersey to Phoenix,
as well as several aunts. But she still saw breastArizona to see her daughter in February 2009. She
cancer as something far removed from her own life.just wanted to hug her daughter and be with her in
She was healthy. She never once imagined it wouldperson. Gloria saw that her daughter was fine on the
strike her, especially not in her twenties. She was toosurface, but also knew that Jennifer was good at
young. She was too active. She was too fit. Shehiding any weakness. At this time, Jennifer only
took good care of herself and took pride in eatingconfided in her husband and didn't want her mom to
right and exercising regularly.worry, so she put up a brave front during her visit.
Gloria could barely hold the telephone in her hand. SheGloria saw a vibrant daughter and returned to New
remembers wanting to run as far away as she couldJersey feeling good about her daughter's health and
from what the voice on the other end of thefuture.
telephone, but her body was frozen in time. HerSHOCK
heart seemed to stop.Two months later, on the evening of Friday, April 10,
COURAGE2009, Gloria would get a call from Greg saying that it
Gloria held her breathe and fought back the tearswas urgent that she and Don come to Phoenix
while listening to her daughter's courageous words:because Jennifer was in the hospital. Gloria, and her
"Mom, I want you to be brave because I'm going tohusband, Don dropped everything and flew to
fight this." Gloria could hardly believe how calm herPhoenix, as did Jennifer's siblings, Howard and Jennifer
daughter was at this moment. Their roles wereand their significant others. There were no flights
suddenly reversed. Instead of a mother offeringgoing west that same night due to the lateness of
solace to a child, it was the other way around.the hour and Gloria was so frustrated that she
Jennifer was comforting her mother. Jennifercouldn't teleport herself there. When Gloria arrived at
reminded her mother that she was a fighter and shethe hospital, she saw her daughter hooked up to a
wouldn't allow anything change her optimistic outlooklot of machines and on painkiller drugs. Jennifer asked
on life. She intended to live a long and happy life.her mom why she was there and that she was going
LIFE GOES ONto be okay and didn't know why her mother had
That life included being engaged to be married justtraveled there.
three months after her diagnosis. This meant sheJennifer's oncologist told Jennifer and her husband
was faced with not only telling her mother, but tellingGreg that there was not much they could do.
her fiance about the news. How do you tell yourJennifer's response was that she wasn't ready to slip
prospective husband that you may die. Thaton the banana peel just yet, and she would be alright.
question, that life -- that future flashed beforeJennifer didn't want to hear anything negative. The
Gloria's eyes as she hung up the phone. Her handsdoctor spoke to Jennifer in front of the whole family.
shook uncontrollably and shared the news with herThe doctors wanted to do a spinal tap to see if
husband, Don who knew from the look on her facethere was cancer there, but it was risky and against
that something was terribly wrong. Her husband wasodds. They tried it, but they didn't find what they
supportive and told her, "We'll get through thiswere looking for. They wanted to do it again, but
together."then Greg, Gloria and Don made the decision that
Next, Gloria called her own mother, who was in herthere was nothing to be gained to do it again.
seventies to say, "Mom I just got a call from Jen andGloria believed in her daughter and that she would live
we have to be strong and support her." Gloria's mom,a long time. Gloria never said goodbye. Instead, she
Ann Tausk, a Holocaust survivor was used totold her daughter, "I am so blessed to be your
surviving the worst in life without letting it affect hermother. You have shown so much courage and
spirit. This time, she didn't know if she had it in her toinspired so many people. Thank God I have a
fight. Her own mother told Gloria she didn't know ifdaughter like you."
she could handle it.Her daughter told her the past five years had been
Meanwhile, Jennifer was faced with telling her fiance.her best ever. She said she had such a wonderful,
Upon being told, he reaffirmed his soon-to-be wifeblessed life. Gloria said, "I love you, Jen." and Jennifer
and was extremely supportive and offered to takereplied, "I love you too, Mom."
care of her. Gloria thought he could have ran and saidThat was the last conversation they had.
he didn't want anything to do with her, but heSTRENGTH
stayed by her daughter's side.The day before, Don called Gloria's sisters to tell
DECISIONSthem to tell Jennifer's grandmother that Jennifer was
Back at the hospital, the doctors wanted to removein the hospital and the prognosis was not good. Gloria
lymph nodes to find out if the breast cancer hadasked her sisters and her mother to come to
spread.Phoenix to see Jennifer. At 82-years-old, Gloria's
They were relieved to learn the cancer was justmother arrived and told Jennifer, "We're survivors in
contained in her one breast. After carefulour family. You have to be strong."
consideration, Jennifer then decided to have aFour days later, Greg in consultation with Gloria and
mastectomy and have the breast removed. She alsoDon agreed that allowing Jennifer her dignity was
reduced the other breast, so it would not be thatparamount at this time and they made the decision
drastically noticeable. Jennifer wanted to remove theto stop aggressive treatment and transfer Jennifer
cancerous breast and had the most aggressiveto a hospice.
chemotherapy to get it out of her body. She wasOnce they brought her to hospice, Jennifer was in a
told she would lose her hair, but she desperatelycoma. Even though she wasn't conscious, Gloria felt
wanted the disease out of her body. Jennifer had aher daughter knew she was there sleeping by her
full head of long, curly hair down to the middle of herside 24/7 every night. Gloria whispered to her that it
back. She knew chemotherapy would mean sacrificingwas okay to let go. The last day, the hospice nurse
a part of her external looks at a time when shesaid she could tell by Jennifer's labored breathing that
wanted to look her best -- her wedding day.it would be 24-hours before she would pass away.
Gloria remembers asking her daughter when sheJennifer had her entire family there. Jennifer's family
would take her wedding photos knowing she wouldand Jennifer's husband's family were there when she
lose her hair. Jennifer didn't care. She said she'd makepassed away.
a turban since she would be completely bald. JenniferGreg stood by the bed and Jennifer tightened his
did just that. Even though she was completely baldhand, kicked her foot and then she was gone. Gloria
on her wedding day, she was a radiant, beautifulfeels so blessed that her daughter allowed her to be
bride. So beautiful that she was featured in thein the room for her last breath. Her love of her life
January 2001 issue of MAMM Magazine, Womenwas there. April 21, 2009 next week is the one year
Cancer and Community. The title of the article wasanniversary of her passing.
fitting. It was called, "Bald is Beautiful" and it featuredJENNIFER'S LEGACY
many womenToday, Gloria continues to keep her daughter's
IN HER OWN WORDSmemory alive. Jennifer's husband, Greg is a crusader
In the magazine, Jennifer was quoted saying, "Onfor cancer and started the Desert Cancer Foundation
March 30, 2000 at age twenty-eight, I was diagnosedof Arizona, which raises money for The Banner
with infiltrating ductal carcinoma. My fiance and I hadDesert Medical Center and Mobile On-Site
been planning our wedding for nearly a year. PeopleMammography, a mobile way for women to get their
were traveling from all over the country and as farmammograms. The On-Site Mobile Mammography is
away as Australia and I was going to be in the middlefunded by The Jennifer Hoffmann Memorial, the
of chemotherapy. My hair started to fall out a monthcharity set up by Jennifer's parents, husband, friends
before the wedding. After trying wig after wig, Iand family specifically for women who can not afford
gave up. I was afraid that without hair, I'd be an uglymammograms.
bride. But I looked and felt beautiful. With the love ofOn April 10, 2009, they had a screening and 45
the people around me and the strength I had inside,women who signed up were given free
we went through with the wedding."mammograms. These are women who do not have
Jennifer was in the middle of her chemotherapy, andmedical insurance.
took a few weeks break from it so she wouldn't feelJennifer wanted to be cremated and have her ashes
nauseas during the wedding.scattered at the Grand Canyon because she loved
She got married and finished her chemotherapy twogoing there to hike with her husband, who followed
months following the wedding. And then sheher wishes. He did so alone.
continued doing what she had to following doctor'sHer husband, Greg Hoffmann is going there on
orders. She was on tamoxofin, her hair grew backWednesday, April 21, to commemorate Jennifer's
and she kept it short. Yet, her hair wasn't the onlypassing.
thing that would be short. Her new marriage did notHe plans to continue Jennifer's fight for a cure.
survive. Relatives and friends noticed Jennifer wasGreg is now on the board of the Foundation. Each
nervous and unhappy. They didn't know if it was theNovember, his team, THRIVR, walks in the Three
cancer or the marriage. Jennifer seemed irritable.Day Walk for Susan G. Komen Walk for Cancer, as
Everyone assumed she wasn't happy because of thedo other members of Jennifer's family.
illness.JENNIFER'S SPIRIT
FIVE YEARS LATERDespite her diagnosis, Jennifer went on with her life.
In 2005, when she passed her five year milestone ofA life that meant divorce, marriage, work, family,
being "clean"...it was called NED...No Evidence offriends. She continued to live. The message she gives
Disease...a common term within the canceris that illness does not have to prevent someone
community, Gloria received another call that made herfrom living as if they would live forever.
heart skip a beat. Jennifer called to say, "I justAfter Jennifer passed away, Gloria received so many
reached my five year milestone AND my marriageletters telling her what an inspiration Jennifer was to
isn't working. I'm getting divorced"them during this time.
She was married five years and had beenJennifer's friend is a photographer named Jill Stafford
cancer-free for five years. Jennifer told her momin California has made an exhibit with Jennifer's
that she needed to move on. Since she had begunsayings from her blog and she gifted the photograph
therapy at this time, she realized that she waswith the saying to Gloria. The saying reads:
unhappy in the marriage. Jennifer felt she would live"...and then we go on with the business of living
another fifty years and she wanted them to bewhether or not the scenery has changed. We have
happy and healthy. She went through marriageno choice in what we are dealt, but we have a
counseling, but had the courage to leave a marriagechoice in how we deal with it."
that wasn't right for her despite everything else sheThat saying keeps Gloria going. It also keeps
had gone through. Gloria, her husband Don, and theJennifer's husband going. He wrote the following
family, including her step-siblings Howard and Jennifertribute.
all supported her in her decision. Her daughter alsoIn memory of Jen...
decided to change jobs. She switched careers andOn April 21, 2009, the world lost one of the good
went from computer graphics for another engineeringones to breast cancer. My wife, Jen Hoffmann, after
firm to work in marketing for an engineering firma 9-year battle with the beast, elegantly unlaced her
instead. She said she would rather be alone than notgloves and did what all of us should aspire to do --
be happy within the marriage. Gloria wasn't a strangershe left the world a better place.
to divorce since she had been divorced fromMuch more than just a survivor, I called her my
Jennifer's father when Jennifer was four- years- old."thriver." Literally and figuratively, she climbed
Soon after her divorce, Jennifer met Greg Hoffmannmountains, and while doing so, she inspired thousands,
who was to be her second husband. Jennifer alsocourageously fighting a disease that just wouldn't let
decided to get active in the Susan G. Komen for thego, reminding us all what a precious gift it is just to
Cure Foundation. She met her future husbandbe alive. Never a woman dying of cancer, she was
through participating in this foundation, and he wouldalways a woman living with cancer -- and oh how she
become the love of her life. They fell in love andlived.
Jennifer was happier than she had ever been.She was a five-time participant in the Arizona Breast
THE CANCER RETURNSCancer 3-Day, and the team she founded, Team
Two years later, in 2007, Gloria received anotherTHRIVR, will once again hit the pavement in
dreaded call. Gloria was in the South Pacific with herNovember 2009, determined more than ever to raise
husband and she hadn't spoken to her daughter formoney to find the cure. We'll walk with heavy hearts,
three weeks because they had been vacationing onand we'll walk with the sweetest memories of a life
a freighter. Jennifer said she wanted to wait to tellwell-lived. We'll walk, because everyone deserves a
Gloria the latest news until she got home, butlifetime -- and because far too often, not everyone
couldn't. The breast cancer was back but this time ingets one.
the liver and ovaries. Gloria wanted to die. JenniferGodspeed, beautiful girl. Thrive on.
told her not to worry, they were going to zap it and